Queer & AuDHD Counsellor

I’m Baya (they/them)! My lived experience as a non-binary and AuDHD individual deeply informs my practice. With respect and gratitude, I live and work as a counsellor on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories of the Coast Salish peoples, including the Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), Tsleil-Waututh, and Musqueam Nations. I honour their enduring connection to the land, waters, and community, and I am committed to ongoing reflection and action toward decolonizing my practice.

My story…

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sensory adverse and sensory seeking, missing social cues, struggling with change, experiencing RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), and existing as a highly sensitive person. I experienced shutdowns and meltdowns, but didn’t have the language to explain them. Instead, I was diagnosed with persistent depression, which I now understand was likely Autistic burnout after years of masking. I was also identified as a socially anxious person, but looking back, I was overstimulated and feeling misunderstood in social situations.

During that time, my family supported me in training a service dog, which gave me so much confidence and freedom, and sparked my long-standing special interest in service dogs. I know a lot about service dogs and training them. :)

My neurodivergence and queerness are not a “part” of who I am; it’s an integral, inseparable part of my whole self. When I learned there were more than two options for gender, I knew that I was non-binary, specifically agender, which for me means I don’t feel like I have any gender at all.

Coming out and finding other queer people gave me a sense of community I had been missing, and it brought many other neurodivergent people into my life. As a polyamorous person, I also bring in an understanding of the ways that human connection exists outside of mono-normative and colonial systems. For me, my queer gender and sexuality, and my neurodivergence, are deeply connected in how I experience the world, my relationships, and the spaces where I feel belonging.

Moving forward…

Before I had an official diagnosis, self-identifying as Autistic gave me a kind of freedom I had never experienced before. It gave me space to begin unmasking and discovering who I really am underneath the layers I had worn for so long. When I was diagnosed, I felt liberated, finally being seen and knowing my experiences are normal for AuDHD folks; it also brought with it grief, looking back, knowing I didn’t have the support I needed.

Now, I’ve learned to work with my neurodivergence instead of against it. With the support of neurodivergence-affirming professionals, I’ve found ways to care for myself that truly fit me. Talking with other Autistic and AuDHD adults was a turning point in my self-acceptance and helped me understand my experiences with empathy instead of shame.

I’ve had to rebuild my life in a way that aligns with my brain and nervous system, even within systems and social structures that weren’t designed with neurodivergent people in mind. Living with chronic illness has also greatly influenced how I take care of myself and approach counselling with flexibility and compassion.

Being a high-masking, late-identified, AFAB (assigned female at birth) AuDHD person meant that I was not seen as myself for many years. Rediscovering myself, knowing I am queer and AuDHD, has been profound and full of struggle, and filled with immense joy and love.

My journey is lifelong, ever-changing, and filled with wonder at the unique ways neurodivergent brains and nervous systems move through the world. I strive to bring this same sense of affirmation and possibility to the people I work with.